even so
by magisperica
Summary: Rei realises at the checkout counter that he maybe probably somewhat likes Nagisa.


At first, Rei didn't know it was _that_ kind of like.

Mostly because Rei wasn't sure what he liked about Nagisa, if anything at all. He enjoyed the older boy's company, sure, but he didn't think there was any particular part of his personality or physical feature that he found endearing. What he did like were mostly the things Nagisa did.

Small things first, like how he adored Nagisa's smile when a purchase of strawberry flavoured sweets was made, and how happy he was when Nagisa announced that they would be having lunch together that day.

Maybe it was Nagisa's smile he liked? It could be.

So one day, he experimented with the hypothesis that he might like Nagisa.

(up first)

His experiment was to see if he felt different around Nagisa, to see if he had a distinctive feature that he particularly liked, through observation.

Rei started waiting for Nagisa in the mornings so they could take a train to school together, and on the days where there was swim practice, they went back together as well.

He didn't exactly know what to make of his observations, because he didn't he noticed anything he really liked about Nagisa. What he did notice, however, was how Nagisa smiled brightly every single day when Rei greeted him at the train platform. Rei also noticed how, although he didn't say anything about it, Nagisa practically glowed when Rei mentioned that they'd being taking a train home together that day.

Small things.

When Rei was invited to a café after school one day, he accepted.

He should have refused, because he later found out that it was a _dessert_ café, and he didn't like sweet things. But he said yes, since he knew that he'd be rewarded with another smile, and delighted laughter.

Then this one time, he was presented with a bag of sweets. Again he should have refused, but then he remembered that Nagisa might hug him.

A month passed before Rei realised that he had just bought a box of macarons as a present for Nagisa. It was a trivial thing, buying a gift for someone who you were going to visit, but Rei realised, mid-checkout, that he had completely forgotten that he was supposed to be doing research on what he liked about the said recipient of macarons. Rather, he had just gone on to wonder about Nagisa's reaction, the minute details of what made him happy, and what made him smile.

Small things, like how caving in and saying yes equated to this cute, delighted expression unique to Nagisa.

The funny thing was, that seeing Nagisa happy also made Rei feel like laughing along. So yes, Rei supposed that he was, maybe, infatuated with Nagisa.

(so next)

That posed another problem: what was he supposed to do with this information?

The obvious answer would have been to confess to Nagisa, but there was the problem of basically admitting he was gay for his best friend, and not to mention, Nagisa most likely didn't like him in the same way. Nagisa was a nice person, and he would definitely not avoid Rei just because he turned out to be gay. The likely outcome was that nothing might change between them, except for the fact that it would include a lot more awkwardness.

And so Rei researched on the best possible way to confess, because he decided that he likes small details.

(oddly enough)

Nagisa laid his hard work to waste.

Not that he minded, of course, because he had officially gotten a boyfriend, as well as a date.

It started with embarrassment, as usual. His mind was drifting off slightly, something the lines of _should I bring chocolate or will Nagisa feel pressured_ _maybe if he accepts then I can give them to him but if he_ _rejects me who's gonna eat the chocolate god be _damned_ if its me unless its one of the really great kinds do I have that kind of money _and through the thick of the ridiculous babble, he heard a slightly tremulous version of Nagisa's usual chirp.

"I think I like you more than chocolate."

There was some kind of context, wasn't there? Something he missed while, uh, thinking. Yeah. Nagisa was probably trying to think of a pickup line.

He was staring, he supposed. So while not in exactly the best state of mind, Rei stopped staring. By laughing, because if that wasn't the most adorable and Nagisa-like thing he's ever heard.

Nagisa looks insulted. "What?"

Was this a good time to tell Nagisa of his crush? Probably not. There were people around.

"It's just that, Nagisa, no offense, but you really are terrible when it comes to pickup lines."

'No offense?' Ha.

Nagisa probably _did _take offense. "Fine," he said, and got down on one knee. "Rei, I think that you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, even more so than that box of macarons you bought me last week." Deliberately, he glanced up. "How was that?"

Really effective, considering that Rei was blushing and looking like he wanted to drown.

(until now)

"Did," Rei started, and took a deep breath. "Did you, uh, um."

People or not, slightly occupied school rooftop or the privacy of Rei's room, and Rei's eloquence did not change in the slightest.

Nagisa looked up from his textbook.

"Did," and Nagisa was_ staring_ at him, so he switched to, "Um, never mind."

"That's cruel, Rei, leading me on like that!" Nagisa said, quite noisily. Rei's brain skimmed over the phrase 'double entendre'. "Tell me!"

Rei added some more details to his database: the slightly scrunched up facial features, the slightly whiny but still endearing tone, and the feel of small hands angrily scrunching up his shirt.

"-mean it," is all he managed to squeak out, before he caught himself. Not beautiful, squeaking. He cleared his throat. "Did you mean it?"

"Mean what?"

Widened eyes, lips forming an 'o', and leaning forward a little more than Rei felt comfortable with.

"The thing," Rei said. "What you said on the roof."

"Of course!" Nagisa chirps. "The macarons were great!"

A little impatiently, Rei pressed on. "And, um, about the part where you said that, I, uh, was more beau-" a deep breath, "beau, uh, beautiful, than, um."

"Oh, come on, Rei, I can't think of good ways to describe you, happy?" Nagisa huffed. "Telling someone you like should not be this difficult."

"Does that mean-"

"Yup! I am deeply in love with Makoto!"

Rei did a double take.

Nagisa grinned.

"Kidding," he said. "I like you, of course! I said sweets were second best to you, after all."

Rei kissed him.

Faint taste of the macarons they shared, undeniably sweet and soft, a slightly shocked look at the unexpected contact, and the faint, contented sigh once Nagisa realised what they were doing.

Of course, it's best to take several samples to ensure accuracy of results, so Rei leaned in again.

(and then)

"Rei?" Nagisa asks, rather sleepily. It is nearing eight in the evening, the both of them sitting on Rei's porch. Nagisa is nestled in Rei's lap, his hands tracing loops and whorls and little penguins on Rei's calloused palm.

"Mmm?"

"I like you. A lot."

Rei smiles. "Thank you."

"You know, you're supposed to say_, 'I like you a lot, too!'_ ."

Rei looks up from Nagisa's distractingly cool fingers. "I like you a lot, too."

It's said in all seriousness, and Rei can't help but wonder exactly why he likes this boy so much.

So he asks.

"Nagisa, why do you think I like you?"

Nagisa is slightly caught off guard, and so, for a stunned moments, he thinks.

"I don't know," is his honest reply. "Why do _I _like you? Now that I think about it, I don't know exactly why, I just like you."

"What do you like about me, then?"

"Rei." Nagisa says, simply. "I like you because you're Rei."

Rei is speechless. He doesn't know why, but Nagisa's answer makes his heart lift, that incredibly happy feeling, like when he scores As in all his tests, or gets a new personal best in his swim time, or when Nagisa kissed him back, when he realised Rei was kissing him.

"Maybe," he manages at last. "You don't need to like something about a person to be in love with them. Maybe, all that's needed is that the person makes you happy."

"Rei makes me happy." Nagisa agrees.  
He's now resting his head on Rei's lap, half-asleep.

Rei can feel the shock of honey-coloured hair brush against his stomach, the slight thrumming of Nagisa's chest against his legs, and quiet breaths on the hand Nagisa refuses to let go off. Rei thinks, _Nagisa makes _me _happy._

It's really not always only what specific things you like about a person, Rei reflects later. Just the things they do, every little detail: if it makes you happy, if it makes you smile, then it's love.

So he brushes hair away from the now-sleeping Nagisa's forehead and gives him a kiss, because it's small things like this that make him happy.

(good night)

Okay so you know how in candy-flavoured I said that I messed up the formatting?

Yeah I did it again.

Also I don't have a beta I don't even know what that is so there are probably typos and such.


End file.
